I finally, FINALLY finished compiling my 366 photos of 2012.
Three months later.
Better late than never, right?
Anyways, you can see these photos here : 366e.tumblr.com
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Thursday, March 28, 2013
ALL the things
I'm horrible. I love people. People who do things what they like and are talented and excited about their thing. And I hate them. Hate them sooo much. F* talented people, why are you so f* talented.
The worst is that I get extremely excited when people are excited about their thing what ever it'd be - music, science, biology, history, theatre. If people love the thing they share information about - I start loving it.
It's a good thing in a way.. But the thing is... seeing people being excited about a range of different things makes it really hard for me.. because.. I freaking get really excited as well. I want to do EVERYTHING. And too much is always bad. That's why I have an extremly hard time deciding what I want to do with my life - because at different points in my life people have made me excited about a range of things. Some times these.. interests? kind of fade away, but their are still there, so if anything/anyone sparks up the interest again, I'm gone.. Gone to the world of fangirling over...physics..for example.
Like when I was 15, I had the most amazing art history teacher, who really knew what she was talking about, and had a personal connection with everything she was teaching us that just vibrated through to me. I loved art history. I wanted to study art history, I was a straight A student in that class because it became so easy to understand and remember.
Or our biology teacher who really loved biology and geography. And it was so exciting to learn how freaking..I don't know.. deer migrate and why and whatnot, just because she really enjoyed it.
Or like watching prof Brian Cox talking about physics. All I want to do is physics! because you know.. space and laws and beauty and formulas and things you can learn by knowing things about completely different things... Like my favourite law that says that all the energy levels of all the atoms are slightly different, so if you change the energy level of one atom, the WHOLE UNIVERSE has to alter its energy levels slightly.. You boil water and the WHOLE UNIVERSE (do you even understand the concept of the whole universe? I probably don't) changes. Or another favourite of mine: The second law of Newton - Energy cannot be created or destroyed it just transforms from one form to another (I'm paraphrasing..). You know what that means? That the energy that was released billions of year ago, during the Big Bang, is the same energy that is in motion today. Energy is eternal. How beautiful thought is that? Every time I see Brian Cox on TV, talking about physics, I get so excited I just want to jump up and down, get more knowledge, spread the excitement about physics and hug him, because he is so excited, and it makes me so happy.
Then there's theatre. But that makes me excited in so many different levels, I really shouldn't even start. And as it is what I'm studying I'll most probably (hopefully?) start working in that area. But.. What do i want to do with theatre? Sometimes I have an urge to act. Then sometimes I think I'd like to direct. And then we have all the technical side of everything. Stage Management. Lighting. Sound. Props. Costume etcetcetc. I want to do a bit of everything, and I know I can't, but I can't make a decision. Plus I still think I don't know enough on any subject to actually work on any of these.
Or today I found another person. Gareth Malone.. you know the guy who forms choirs in the most unusual places. All I want to do right now is to conduct. Or sing. Or both. Like it's almost 6am, and I finished watching an 1,5 hour long interview with him, and I'm soo excited about choral music (well, to be fair, it's always been a weakness of mine.. HARMONIES, I get goosebumps) and I just want to go somewhere gather a group of people, and do breathing exercises, make large and tiny faces and sing songs, and.. ARHSKvsdkgldkflhöldf. YES, PLEASE. And watching the interview I'd just make noises once in a while because he just... the love for music just pours out of him...and I try to catch every little tiny bit of it, and it's never possible.. and after a few days of excitement I'll calm down and enter a sad period because I don't know what I want to do with my life.
And I feel the pressure every day. More and more as the countdown to graduation is shortening (is that even a way to say this???). And once again I'm thrown into the deep seas of life, and I have no idea what I'm going to do.
I'm quite scared.
And it wasn't supposed to end on that kind of..depressive note..
mainly it's about how much I love people who love what they do. I do hope that some day I can say that about whatever I end up doing.
The worst is that I get extremely excited when people are excited about their thing what ever it'd be - music, science, biology, history, theatre. If people love the thing they share information about - I start loving it.
It's a good thing in a way.. But the thing is... seeing people being excited about a range of different things makes it really hard for me.. because.. I freaking get really excited as well. I want to do EVERYTHING. And too much is always bad. That's why I have an extremly hard time deciding what I want to do with my life - because at different points in my life people have made me excited about a range of things. Some times these.. interests? kind of fade away, but their are still there, so if anything/anyone sparks up the interest again, I'm gone.. Gone to the world of fangirling over...physics..for example.
Like when I was 15, I had the most amazing art history teacher, who really knew what she was talking about, and had a personal connection with everything she was teaching us that just vibrated through to me. I loved art history. I wanted to study art history, I was a straight A student in that class because it became so easy to understand and remember.
Or our biology teacher who really loved biology and geography. And it was so exciting to learn how freaking..I don't know.. deer migrate and why and whatnot, just because she really enjoyed it.
Or like watching prof Brian Cox talking about physics. All I want to do is physics! because you know.. space and laws and beauty and formulas and things you can learn by knowing things about completely different things... Like my favourite law that says that all the energy levels of all the atoms are slightly different, so if you change the energy level of one atom, the WHOLE UNIVERSE has to alter its energy levels slightly.. You boil water and the WHOLE UNIVERSE (do you even understand the concept of the whole universe? I probably don't) changes. Or another favourite of mine: The second law of Newton - Energy cannot be created or destroyed it just transforms from one form to another (I'm paraphrasing..). You know what that means? That the energy that was released billions of year ago, during the Big Bang, is the same energy that is in motion today. Energy is eternal. How beautiful thought is that? Every time I see Brian Cox on TV, talking about physics, I get so excited I just want to jump up and down, get more knowledge, spread the excitement about physics and hug him, because he is so excited, and it makes me so happy.
Then there's theatre. But that makes me excited in so many different levels, I really shouldn't even start. And as it is what I'm studying I'll most probably (hopefully?) start working in that area. But.. What do i want to do with theatre? Sometimes I have an urge to act. Then sometimes I think I'd like to direct. And then we have all the technical side of everything. Stage Management. Lighting. Sound. Props. Costume etcetcetc. I want to do a bit of everything, and I know I can't, but I can't make a decision. Plus I still think I don't know enough on any subject to actually work on any of these.
Or today I found another person. Gareth Malone.. you know the guy who forms choirs in the most unusual places. All I want to do right now is to conduct. Or sing. Or both. Like it's almost 6am, and I finished watching an 1,5 hour long interview with him, and I'm soo excited about choral music (well, to be fair, it's always been a weakness of mine.. HARMONIES, I get goosebumps) and I just want to go somewhere gather a group of people, and do breathing exercises, make large and tiny faces and sing songs, and.. ARHSKvsdkgldkflhöldf. YES, PLEASE. And watching the interview I'd just make noises once in a while because he just... the love for music just pours out of him...and I try to catch every little tiny bit of it, and it's never possible.. and after a few days of excitement I'll calm down and enter a sad period because I don't know what I want to do with my life.
And I feel the pressure every day. More and more as the countdown to graduation is shortening (is that even a way to say this???). And once again I'm thrown into the deep seas of life, and I have no idea what I'm going to do.
I'm quite scared.
And it wasn't supposed to end on that kind of..depressive note..
mainly it's about how much I love people who love what they do. I do hope that some day I can say that about whatever I end up doing.
Saturday, March 23, 2013
One Acts and Theatre Spaces
(It's going well with blogging in English, isn't it?)
Another spring comes with another Broad-Ways OneActs Festival. 8 short plays during one evening. Theatre making heaven and hell all combined.
I didn't really want to talk about the Festival that much.. i was just.. comparing the two OneActs I've been part of. And how different it is (or is it?)
Last year I was a performer in two of the plays (huzzaaah for non-existent but apparently somewhat existent acting skills..) and this year I was a lighting technician.
And now, when it's all over, I'm just thinking... that you can experience theatre in so many different ways/levels.
Chatting away in the green room, doing make-up, getting nervous before stepping on the stage, wishing you'd remember all your lines and blocking.
Sitting in the box, in the darkness, with just a bit of light to see the Book and see your cues, pressing GO, being ready to change in case of emergency, occasional chatting on cans.
It's really weird. Two different worlds in theatre. Each essential for the existence of the other. And then on the night colliding with the third world of the audience.
It is actually quite obvious, isn't it. But I just realised that I've lived through both of the experiences (sadly not the third one because during my first year I had something at the same time with OneActs and I couldn't go to see it..).
But what's also interesting for me is the difference between the spaces. Last year OneActs was held in Morland Centre, which is a.. community hall thingy? whilst this year it was in Arad Goch - a professional theatre space. Because last year it was basically one big room, and a side-room which served as green room; there was the feeling of a community, of a Broad-Ways Sociaty community. Techies chilled with actors, directors where present etc. This year I felt more... detached. I was stuck in my box, and went backstage only a few times.. It's probably just me because I'm lazy enough not too be bothered to get down the stairs and what not.. So this year.. I felt there was more of a division - Actors belong to the green room, directors are not allowed because there isn't enough space anyway, techies in the box or in the backstage corridor area.
It's nothing new. Just...new to me I guess? As being in the box is actually quite a new thing for me, getting used to the isolation (again, it's probably just me being antisocial..).
Another spring comes with another Broad-Ways OneActs Festival. 8 short plays during one evening. Theatre making heaven and hell all combined.
I didn't really want to talk about the Festival that much.. i was just.. comparing the two OneActs I've been part of. And how different it is (or is it?)
Last year I was a performer in two of the plays (huzzaaah for non-existent but apparently somewhat existent acting skills..) and this year I was a lighting technician.
And now, when it's all over, I'm just thinking... that you can experience theatre in so many different ways/levels.
Chatting away in the green room, doing make-up, getting nervous before stepping on the stage, wishing you'd remember all your lines and blocking.
Sitting in the box, in the darkness, with just a bit of light to see the Book and see your cues, pressing GO, being ready to change in case of emergency, occasional chatting on cans.
It's really weird. Two different worlds in theatre. Each essential for the existence of the other. And then on the night colliding with the third world of the audience.
It is actually quite obvious, isn't it. But I just realised that I've lived through both of the experiences (sadly not the third one because during my first year I had something at the same time with OneActs and I couldn't go to see it..).
But what's also interesting for me is the difference between the spaces. Last year OneActs was held in Morland Centre, which is a.. community hall thingy? whilst this year it was in Arad Goch - a professional theatre space. Because last year it was basically one big room, and a side-room which served as green room; there was the feeling of a community, of a Broad-Ways Sociaty community. Techies chilled with actors, directors where present etc. This year I felt more... detached. I was stuck in my box, and went backstage only a few times.. It's probably just me because I'm lazy enough not too be bothered to get down the stairs and what not.. So this year.. I felt there was more of a division - Actors belong to the green room, directors are not allowed because there isn't enough space anyway, techies in the box or in the backstage corridor area.
It's nothing new. Just...new to me I guess? As being in the box is actually quite a new thing for me, getting used to the isolation (again, it's probably just me being antisocial..).
Friday, July 27, 2012
Olympic Opening Ceremony
I just literally screamed when J.K.Rowling started to read.
And then the huuugee floating Voldemort, and The Queen of Hearts, of course!
Although I secrely wished they'd show us something from Roald Dahl's work as well.
They haven't mentioned Sherlock Holmes, which is sad, and I really do hope they include David Tennant somehow.
And then the huuugee floating Voldemort, and The Queen of Hearts, of course!
Although I secrely wished they'd show us something from Roald Dahl's work as well.
They haven't mentioned Sherlock Holmes, which is sad, and I really do hope they include David Tennant somehow.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
25th July
This goes well, doesn't it.
I'm at home now, in Estonia, been here for over a month already..
2 weeks ago I was really surprised because I still didn't want to go back.. I mean, I was feeling quite okay at home.. But now.. Gash, I want to go back to Aber.
I want to go to schoool. I don't want to be at home, and with these people anymore. A month is enough, more than enpugh but I have another 3 weeks to survive here.
So. A short collection of things I've done at home:
* Read some books
* Slept more than I normally do (which is great!)
* Seen people
* Gone to Saaremaa
* Baby sat my niece
* Made a complete mess out of my room
* Gained weight (probably)
* Been a set photographer for my theatre groups film
* Listened to loads of music
* Almost started my portfolio for this semester's production project
* Watched loads of "Castle" and some "Doctor Who"
* Played piano (and today I made an attempt to play guitar but I still fail at it, and I usually can't do it more than 30 minutes in a week or something, but I could listen to someone playing guitar for ages)
* Eaten fresh strawberries, blueberries and rasberries
* Eaten chantarelle sauce (I usually hate mushrooms, but I really like the taste of the sauce..but I still hate the mushrooms in it..)
* Not cared for people enough
* Bought loads of Harry Potter stickers (nerdy Edith)
* Catched up on my 366 picture challenge, now I'm actually at the right number! Check it out!
* Spent loads of money on nothing.
So, actually. I've done nothing. Nothing interesting. Boo.
I'm at home now, in Estonia, been here for over a month already..
2 weeks ago I was really surprised because I still didn't want to go back.. I mean, I was feeling quite okay at home.. But now.. Gash, I want to go back to Aber.
I want to go to schoool. I don't want to be at home, and with these people anymore. A month is enough, more than enpugh but I have another 3 weeks to survive here.
So. A short collection of things I've done at home:
* Read some books
* Slept more than I normally do (which is great!)
* Seen people
* Gone to Saaremaa
* Baby sat my niece
* Made a complete mess out of my room
* Gained weight (probably)
* Been a set photographer for my theatre groups film
* Listened to loads of music
* Almost started my portfolio for this semester's production project
* Watched loads of "Castle" and some "Doctor Who"
* Played piano (and today I made an attempt to play guitar but I still fail at it, and I usually can't do it more than 30 minutes in a week or something, but I could listen to someone playing guitar for ages)
* Eaten fresh strawberries, blueberries and rasberries
* Eaten chantarelle sauce (I usually hate mushrooms, but I really like the taste of the sauce..but I still hate the mushrooms in it..)
* Not cared for people enough
* Bought loads of Harry Potter stickers (nerdy Edith)
* Catched up on my 366 picture challenge, now I'm actually at the right number! Check it out!
* Spent loads of money on nothing.
So, actually. I've done nothing. Nothing interesting. Boo.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Doctor Who
I must say I have a love-hate relationship with Doctor Who. Sometimes I really want to watch it because..well, it is interesting. But everytime I start watching it.. I just pause like every 2 minutes, I just can't be bothered to watch. So watching a single episode takes me ages.. But I still continue watching it (not that I'm only at season 2 because I'm stubborn and want to watch all the episodes..).
But sometimes.. Rose just...annoys me so much. Geeeee, girl, shut up! How can you be so stupid sometimes? But then I just love how they've mixed all the famous historical figures in some of the episodes, just love it.
Well actually, I can't watch anything..alone.. I just keep making pauses and doing other stuff.. The only things I can just watch are Sherlock and QI. I could watch episodes of QI constantly.. I don't even know what it is about it.. It's more complicated with Sherlock.. Because I get to excited and then I have to pause to calm myself down a bit.. But with QI, it's just like.. I don't know even. It's quite weird I guess..
I've noticed I do pauses only when watching something alone. If I'm with someone I can watch things endlessly.. Even when for example the other person falls asleep.. No need to do other things then..Weird.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
4.April
I've been lazy as hell and never actually got around to write my blog in English. I really should, I really should try harder!
So hopefully in the next few days, I'll be trying to update as much as I can (and as much as I remember).
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